Love Gifted
by Vestal Virgin
Summary: Written for cara mia for Vamb's Secret Santa 2013 exchange. Kathryn and Chakotay visit the holodeck to approve the program for the Christmas party. An anomaly causes ship-wide malfunctions, and the command team find themselves trapped in the program with the computer making dangerous additions.


**DISCLAIMER: Star Trek and all characters belong to Paramount/CBS. The story and errors are mine.**

**A/N: Written for the VAMB Secret Santa 2013 exchange for cara_mia. Her request was for a J/C fic, preferably rated NC17; something with plot and action if you have time. No baby fic, character death, wedding fic, whimpy or whiny J or C. I hope I fulfilled your wishes!**

**Thank you KJaneway115 for the wonderful beta and guidance! As always, I rewrite after she has read it, so errors and oddities are mine alone.**

*****V*V*****

"Janeway to Chakotay."

He tapped his combadge. "Yes, Captain?"

"I'm on my way up from engineering. Are you free?"

"I'm just in my office finishing the survey mission report."

"Is there anything in it we haven't already discussed?"

"No. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm happy to report it was one of the most uninteresting missions I've ever been on."

He heard the smile in her voice over the comm link. "In the Delta Quadrant, that's a good thing, Commander. Can you meet me at the holodeck in five minutes so we can approve the program for tomorrow's Christmas party?"

"Of course, Captain. I'll turn the bridge over to Tuvok and be right there."

"Be sure to get your coat before you come. Mr. Paris said the entrance is snowy and cold, with a short walk to the lodge."

"Understood."

"Janeway out."

Chakotay stepped onto the bridge to inform Tuvok that he was meeting the captain on the holodeck. "Is there anything we should know before we go in, Tom?" Chakotay asked the helmsman.

"No, sir. The walk to lodge will be cold, but it should only take you a couple of minutes to get there."

"If the captain finds something not to her liking, I presume you will have time after shift to fix it." Chakotay made it a statement rather than a question, with four years of experience with Tom's holoprograms and practical jokes to back up his reservations.

"Sure, Commander. I think you'll really like this one, though."

"We'll let you know soon. Tuvok, you have the bridge."

"Acknowledged," Tuvok answered.

Chakotay reviewed his mission report one last time on the way to his quarters and was still reading the PADD when he entered the door. Satisfied with the report, he signed it and laid it on the table, then retrieved his coat and scarf and headed out for the holodeck. When his door slid closed, he noticed the mistletoe hanging above the panel. He chuckled as he pulled down the sprig and shoved it in his pocket.

Kathryn was waiting outside Holodeck 2 in a calf-length, white, down-filled coat with a fur-lined hood, and a pair of white mittens stuffed in one pocket.

As he walked up to her, he said, "You look…" _Dear gods, Chakotay, do not call her cute._ "…wintery," he finished.

She knew he had been going to say something else, but a raised eyebrow was her only acknowledgement. She looked him over in his long, black leather coat lined with dark gray wool, and a deep red scarf draped around his neck. She spotted the greenery peeking out of one pocket. "What is that?" she pointed.

He followed her line of sight and chuckled. "A crewman's idea of a joke. This is the third bunch of mistletoe to magically appear above my door in the last couple of days."

"And you don't know who's doing it?"

"No. I'm sure I could find out easily enough with a tricorder and a bioscan, but I haven't bothered."

She smirked. "Remind me not to walk you home until after Christmas."

He laughed and watched her punch in her code to the holodeck before instructing, "Computer, begin program Paris-Christmas-Four." She looked up at Chakotay. "It's hard to believe this is our fourth holiday season in the Delta Quadrant."

"As long as Neelix doesn't color all the food red with Gervalien squid ink again this year, it won't be so bad."

"That was pretty awful, wasn't it?"

"The mashed potatoes looked like congealed blood! Half the crew refused to eat potatoes again for three months."

She grinned as she pulled her mittens on, and then slipped her arm through his to step onto the snow-covered path. The simulated landscape stretched before them in a gentle rise covered with cedar, pine, and other evergreen trees. White, powdery snow covered the ground, piled in drifts against the tree trunks, and blanketed the larger branches. The air was crisp and cold, and Kathryn pulled up her hood while Chakotay flipped the ends of his wool scarf over his shoulders.

"It's beautiful," she said quietly.

A mild breeze was blowing, just enough to occasionally rustle the pine needles together and create small eddies of light snow on top of the higher drifts. They came to a bend in the path, and a family of rabbits darted from under a low bush and up the slope. Chakotay and Kathryn stopped to watch them, and he could see the soft smile on her face. When she looked at him, her hand tightened on his arm and her blue eyes caught his gaze for a moment. He laid his fingers over hers on his forearm, thinking to himself how lovely the rosy tint on her cold cheeks was, and they continued on in silence as they watched the winter landscape unfold.

Soon, Chakotay could make out the smoke from a chimney stack rising above the treetops off to their left. The trail meandered in the opposite direction before curving back toward a two-story wood lodge with decks circling both floors. The windows were draped with holiday greenery and red velvet bows, and natural vine wreaths hung on each of the double doors.

They stopped at the steps to knock the snow off their boots, and Chakotay opened the door. Kathryn stood just inside while he closed the door, and then pushed her hood back and looked around. A large stone fireplace contained a roaring fire, and they could see the long counter and bar where Neelix would set up the food and drinks. Couches, chairs, and cushions were scattered around the room in small groups, with open space left in the middle for mingling and dancing. A 10-foot tall tree decorated with tiny white lights and silver ornaments stood in one corner.

"What do you think, Kathryn? Do you see anything you object to?"

She slowly turned in a circle and stopped, facing him with a bright smile and a twinkle in her eyes. "Not a thing. It's perfect."

He returned her smile and unwound the scarf from his neck. "Let's check out the upstairs to make sure he hasn't hidden any surprises. I agree, though; so far it looks perfect."

They searched for a way to get upstairs, and finally found a wooden stepladder in a storeroom behind the bar. When Chakotay emerged on the second floor through the trapdoor, he found Kathryn leaning against a doorway with a bemused smirk on her face.

"What is it?"

She nodded toward the opening. "Come see for yourself."

He peered in and chuckled. "Are they all bedrooms?"

"I haven't looked, but I assume so."

"How many?"

"I counted four doorways."

He looked at her and tugged his ear. "So what do you want to do?"

She took one more look at the queen sized bed and laughed. "Just make sure he understands that the upstairs is off limits until the captain has left the party. The less I know, the better."

He grinned. "I'll take care of it." His tattoo rose with his eyebrow. "You know, that bed looks pretty comfortable. Maybe you and I should reserve one of these rooms for the night. Get a good night's sleep."

She put her hand on his chest, and lowered her voice seductively. "We should, Chakotay. You can use it to recover after I phaser you."

He reeled against the doorframe and clutched his chest. She was still laughing when she stepped down onto the ladder. "Come on, Commander. We do have a duty shift to finish."

"Just give me a minute to drag my wounded heart along." He chuckled as he descended the steps after her. When he reached the bottom, he asked, "Other than making sure the command team is gone before opening the upstairs, do you have any other concerns?"

She put her hand up. "I said only to make sure the captain is gone."

"Believe me, we'll both be gone. I'll hear it all through the grapevine anyway. At least I can feign ignorance for a little while."

She pulled her hood up again. "Funny how that grapevine seems to have withered when it reaches me."

"Yes, isn't it though." He replaced his scarf and opened the door for her. "Be glad."

"You make it sound like my crew is a depraved bunch, Chakotay," she laughed.

He held his arm out for her and they started down the path. "Not at all. They're just young professionals more than capable of doing their jobs, and with very limited ways to blow off steam when they're off duty."

She leaned against his shoulder. "It's all right, Chakotay. I'm not as in the dark as everyone believes me to be, and I was young once, too, you know."

He smiled at her. "You're still young, Kathryn, and spirited. _Voyager_ would never have gotten this far if you weren't."

"Yes, well, I may need you to remind me of that the next time I can barely roll out of bed after showing a hostile race how spirited I can be."

"Gladly."

They were passing the bush where they had seen the rabbits when the ship suddenly jolted and threw them both sprawling in the snow. Kathryn was tapping her combadge before she stood up.

"Janeway to Tuvok." There was nothing but static. "Captain Janeway to the bridge." More static answered.

Chakotay was on his feet by now and called out, "Computer, end program." Nothing happened. "Computer, end program Paris-Christmas-Four." The snowy woodlands still surrounded the command team.

"Janeway to engineering." Kathryn still was receiving no response to her hails. "Communication must be down all over the ship."

Chakotay brushed the snow off her shoulders and back with one hand while he fished the tricorder from his belt under his coat with the other. "If we head back to the entrance, we can locate the hologrid control panel."

She was scanning the area with her tricorder.

"Anything?" he asked.

"No, I'm not picking up any unusual readings. No evidence of weapons fire, no radiation, no sign of a plasma leak. According to the scans, everything is normal."

"I told Tuvok and Tom that we were coming here. Even if we can't communicate with them, they know where we are. When neither of us shows up on the bridge soon, they'll come looking for us."

A gust of wind whipped the end of Chakotay's scarf across his face and sent a blast of frigid air down his neck. Kathryn felt the cold across her cheeks and watched the snow eddies grow larger. "I hope this is part of the program," she said loudly to be heard over the wind.

He tied his scarf and started down the trail again. "Let's find the control panel." Both of them continued to take scans as they walked, but so far nothing unusual was registering. A loud crack sounded above them, and a heavy tree limb crashed across the path directly in front of them.

He turned to her. "That's definitely not part of the program. Tom's a joker, but he's not malicious."

"We have to assume the safeties are off!" she yelled as the wind continued to pick up speed. She swayed in a strong, icy gust, and he grabbed her elbow. Snow swirled through the air higher and thicker until it began to obstruct their sight, and the drop in temperature was noticeable through their coats.

He leaned down to her ear to be heard. "We'll never find the panel in this, and we might lose the path soon. We should get back to the lodge while we can."

She nodded her head, and they turned back to retrace their steps. Another crash off to their right told them more limbs were coming down. The longer they stayed under the trees, the greater the chance they could be struck and injured. They quickened their pace as much as possible and soon had the front doors of the log building in view again. Snow was piling against the steps and on the windowsills, and the sky had darkened to an ominous gray.

They were both shivering as they stood in the lodge and took off their coats. Their uniforms and the fire would keep them warm enough inside, so Chakotay took her coat and laid it with his on the bar. He pulled a couple of chairs close to the fireplace while Kathryn scanned for a panel possibly hidden inside the building.

"Any luck?" he asked.

"No. The panel must be at the entrance. Finding out exactly where is going to be the problem, unless the weather improves."

He could see her stretching her fingers and rubbing her hands together, and her cheeks were red with cold. "Come warm up by the fire," he suggested. "We need a plan, but we might as well be warm while we think of one."

She tried her combadge once more to no avail and then sat in the chair beside him with a sigh. She rested her elbows on her knees and stretched her hands toward the fireplace. "Well, Commander. Heavens know what is happening to my ship, and we're stuck here in front of a cozy fire in a winter wonderland."

He chuckled. "Feeling a little guilty?"

"A bit. I don't even have a phaser on me to try to blast our way out."

"Neither do I. It's under my chair on the bridge."

She folded her hands together and propped her chin on them. "We can use the blankets from the beds upstairs to keep warmer when we leave the lodge."

He nodded. "If that sky continues to get darker, we may have to break down a table or chair to make torches. We can use the sheets for that."

She glanced through the window but could only see a blanket of white, the heavy snowfall from the gray sky mixing with the wind-whipped eddies. She couldn't even see the closest tree through the swirling mass. "We should search the cupboards and rooms more thoroughly. There might be other things we can use."

He stood up and held his hand out to pull her up. "I'll take the upstairs since you have an aversion to soft beds."

She swatted his arm. "Fine. I'll be sure to kick the ladder out once you're up there."

Five minutes later, Kathryn rose from inspecting the lower shelves along Neelix's food counter and recognized a change in the noise level. Looking through the long window beside the door, she realized the snow had stopped, the wind had died down, and the sky was blue once again. The abrupt change was nice, but also worrisome in that it only confirmed the problems with the computer's control of the holoprogram. She was about to walk to the door when she heard Chakotay's call.

"Captain, get upstairs. Quickly!" His warning tone caught her attention, and she climbed the steps immediately.

"What is it?"

"In here!" He was standing at the window in the bedroom at the end of the hall.

She reached his side and looked out, but couldn't see anything. "What are you looking at?"

He realized the angle was wrong for her, so he pulled her in front of him, not noticing that he'd practically wrapped his arms around her as he pointed to the far right. "There. Do you see it?"

She blinked her eyes before focusing again.

"What do think that is?" Chakotay asked.

She studied the figure for a moment. Apelike but standing erect, very tall and large, long white fur – a memory tugged at her mind. "A Yeti," she gasped.

"A what?"

"An old Earth animal legend – the cold, mountainous equivalent of Big Foot."

He turned his face to her, his lips almost brushing her cheek before he took a step back. "Why in the world is it here?"

"I don't know, but it's coming this way."

They watched as the creature drew closer to the lodge. "It looks to be 8 to 9 feet tall," he observed. "Those legends don't happen to say that Yetis are friendly, do they?"

"Not that I recall. Elusive would be the best description I can remember."

The creature moved to the front of the building, and they heard the front door rattling. "Help me pull the ladder up," she said as she reentered the hallway. He followed her and they quickly pulled the wooden stepladder up and closed the trapdoor. "Maybe it's just curious."

He searched for a locking mechanism. "Or maybe it smelled us and is looking for a meal."

"Chakotay!"

"I'm serious, Kathryn. You saw the size of that thing."

"Have you found anything we could use for weapons?"

"Bed posts are the best I have so far."

"Are the legs on these beds sturdy enough?"

"I doubt they are. I take it you didn't see the 'master bedroom' yet. Probably Tom's."

She looked a bit irked. "Let me guess, four-poster and big enough for four people?"

"Exactly," he chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll have a talk with him. Right now, we have bigger things to worry about than Tom's personal life, though."

He led her to the largest room and pointed to the oversized, heavy bed. "The only problem is, the noise I would make trying to dissemble the posts from the frame would let our Yeti know exactly where we are."

At that moment, downstairs one of the front double doors knocked back against the wall. "That may not be a problem anymore," she said quietly.

They moved silently back toward the trapdoor and strained to listen to the noise downstairs. He leaned to her ear and whispered, "Is there any way to mask our scent?"

A scraping sound, like furniture over a wooden floor, reached them followed by a couple of dull thuds, probably cushions being thrown.

"Not with holographic items; not unless they've been programmed to have an odor. I haven't smelled any of the plants or trees since we got here, and cedar usually has a distinctive smell."

A long howl split the air, and it took them a few seconds to realize the sound was not coming from the lower level. Chakotay gripped her wrist and motioned for her to follow him to the window. Outside, five very large wolves were pacing the tree line beyond the steps. An answering roar from the Yeti rattled the lodge, and the wolves began to move in.

"We may have just found our weapon," Chakotay said quietly.

Kathryn continued to watch the pack slinking toward the doors. "I agree with you, Chakotay. Tom would never program such dangerous creatures into the Christmas party. The computer must be pulling elements from other winter programs on file into this one."

"That's as good an explanation as any. If those wolves can occupy the Yeti and begin a chase, then that may be our best chance to run for the holodeck entrance and the control panel."

"Stay at the window, Chakotay. I'm going to wait by the trapdoor. If you see them running off, alert me. We'll have to move fast."

"Understood. Let's hope our coats are still where we left them. If not, we're in for a cold run."

She crept to the hatch, careful to keep her boot heels from clicking on the wooden floor. He kept his eyes on the approach to the building as the sounds of snarling and growls grew louder. They heard the crash of furniture, what may have been the Christmas tree being knocked over, and then an almost human scream of pain. In seconds, the Yeti bounded up the snowy slope with all five wolves in hot pursuit.

"Go!" Chakotay shouted.

She slung the trapdoor open, dropped the ladder in place, and started down the stairs, reaching the bottom floor as Chakotay began his descent. She spotted their coats still on the bar and ran for them, tossing his to him as he came through the doorway to the main room. They were still struggling to fasten buttons as they took off at a run down the path.

He was faster due to his longer stride, but kept his pace even with hers as they rounded the oxbow bend and drew closer to where they had entered the program. They were forced to scramble over a fallen tree and a couple of larger limbs. Chakotay kept a lookout for any danger as Kathryn began scanning the area for the hologrid control panel.

"Over here," she called as she veered off into the trees on her right. The drifts were deeper and harder to move through, and a couple of times she sank in snow halfway up her shins. He stayed by her side with a steadying hand on her arm so she could concentrate on the readings, trusting him to keep her upright and from running into anything.

"Get down!" he hissed and practically tossed her behind a snow bank. She started to protest angrily at his manhandling until she saw the look on his face as he crouched protectively over her. A curt nod of his head guided her sight, and she spotted one of the wolves sniffing the pathway and then raising its head to taste the air.

"How many?" she mouthed.

He held up one finger, and then shrugged to indicate he didn't know where the rest of the pack was. The wolf carefully inspected the fallen tree that Kathryn and Chakotay had struggled over, and then raised its nose to the air again. Chakotay knew they were caught when yellow eyes stared straight at their position, and the wolf loped toward them. It picked up speed and lowered its head, and he stepped in front of Kathryn in a fighting stance.

"Keep an eye out for the others," Chakotay said, his voice low and even. She stood up and surveyed the area, but couldn't see any more of creatures. The wolf snarled and leapt for Chakotay's throat, but his locked hands swung across his body and hit the side of its head, knocking it to the ground beside Kathryn.

As it sprang back up, she landed a kick to its shoulder, and it backed off to circle the couple. With a rumbling growl, the creature lurched forward again toward Kathryn, apparently reading her smaller size as weaker prey. She struck out with the heel of her hand and clipped it on the nose, not a stunning blow but enough to make it shake its head, snarl, and start at them again. This time, Chakotay stepped forward and with another double-fisted blow, knocked it down into the snow. Kathryn followed with a downward kick to its throat.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."

She slapped her combadge, never taking her eyes off the wolf that had slunk backward and crouched out of range. "Get us out of here, Tuvok!" she commanded.

"We are working on it, Captain."

The wolf chose that moment to spring with a powerful leap, snapping its jaws at Chakotay's face. He fell backward and with a strengthening yell, caught its belly with his feet and threw it over his shoulders.

"Are you in danger, Captain?" Tuvok asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"You could say that. The computer seems hell bent on making us a nice winter meal for hungry wolves."

Tuvok continued, "We were hit with a graviton surge that has caused damage to several of the ship's systems. I will inform engineering of your situation."

The wolf had recovered its feet and was circling once more. Chakotay asked, "Can you beam us out, Tuvok?"

"No, Commander. The pattern buffers were knocked offline. Those repairs were not considered a priority. However, I will amend that assessment."

Kathryn started to answer, but the creature chose that moment to leap for her face as it had Chakotay's. She couldn't fall back as he had done because she was too close to a tree. Chakotay watched in horror as he realized her predicament, and did the only thing he could think to do. He snapped his arm forward and caught the creature by its throat, feeling its teeth rake through his leather coat, his uniform, and the flesh of his upper arm. He had just enough momentum left to toss the wolf away before his arm went numb. As it flew to the side, the wolf's claws raked Kathryn and drove her to her knees.

Kathryn and Chakotay yelled each other's names. She sprang back up to her feet and clutched her ribs, seeing only a small amount of blood on her fingers when she pulled them away. "Tuvok, whatever it takes to turn off this program or get us out of here, do it! Blast the damn door if you have to. Now!"

"Yes, Captain. Tuvok out."

The wolf had tasted blood and was maddened. It snapped and snarled as it focused on Kathryn again. Chakotay's left arm hung by his side, the nerves in shock, blood running from under his sleeve and down his fingers to stain the snow. She whirled at the sound of a second growl from behind them and realized that two more of the creatures were sneaking up on their position. Knowing they were in serious trouble, Chakotay kept his eyes on the first wolf.

Kathryn's surprise at the new arrivals was nothing compared to her shock at the menacing growl that came from beside her, the realization that the noise was emanating from Chakotay only further raising the hair on the back of her neck. The very air around him seemed to rumble as his volume increased, and his eyes were wide and black as midnight.

He stood in front of her and faced the wolves as he slowly backed her up so they were not trapped between the creatures. When they had moved about 2 meters, her boot heels struck the base of a tree and she was forced to stop. She could feel the raw power radiating off Chakotay's body as he matched the creatures snarl for snarl and continued his menacing growl.

All three wolves suddenly seemed less certain, and the smallest retreated a few steps. Chakotay rose up to his full height, and she watched in awe as his broad shoulders and barrel chest appeared to widen. He took a deep breath, and then let loose a feral-sounding, slathering snarl that almost scared her as much as the creatures that were the focus of his wrath. All three began retreating, and when the largest turned to run, the other two scrambled after it with tails tucked.

Chakotay turned to her and stood there with his shoulders shaking from the force of his breathing, the tension in his muscles slowly releasing. Finally, she saw his body and face relax.

"Are you all right, Kathryn?"

She couldn't help it. She started laughing, at first a nervous chuckle but soon a full out belly laugh, until she had to brace her palms on his chest to hold herself up. "Good God, Chakotay! What the hell was that?"

He chuckled and put his good hand on her shoulder. "Wolves are pack animals with a very clear cut social structure. All I could think to do was to show them who the alpha male was."

She laughed even harder and wiped at her eyes. "I think you made it clear, all right. Maybe I should change your personnel record to Alpha Officer instead of Executive Officer."

He was laughing with her now. "Well, alpha does mean first. I'm sure that's not a performance I wish to repeat, though. I'll keep my current title, thank you."

She was getting herself under control now, and the sting in her side reminded her of his injured arm. She cradled his bloody hand in hers and gently peeled back his shredded clothing from the gash. Her smile faded, but her blue eyes still twinkled when she looked into his, now returned to their deep chocolate color. "I'm sorry, I should have checked this first. I didn't mean to laugh while you're in pain."

He squeezed her shoulder. "It's okay. How bad is it?"

She looked back at the injury. "It's deep, and the muscles are torn. You're losing blood fast." She unwrapped his scarf from around his neck and tied it tightly above the injury. "Not the best solution for long term, but we should be out of here soon, and the Doctor can treat it properly. Can you move your hand?"

He tried. "No. I can feel you holding it, but I can't move it."

She grasped his hand tighter and raised her other hand to his cheek. "Thank you, Chakotay."

He leaned his head into her touch and briefly closed his eyes. She noticed his face was beginning to pale when he said, "We need to check your side."

The scenery around them disappeared, leaving the gray holodeck walls and floor. The door slid open to reveal Tuvok and a security team. "Captain, are you well?" Tuvok asked as he strode toward them.

"A few scratches, but Chakotay is losing a lot of blood." She looked to Ayala. "Escort Chakotay to sickbay."

"Yes, ma'am," Ayala acknowledged.

"You need to come with us," Chakotay told her with a hint of worry in his eyes.

Kathryn squeezed his hand one more time before releasing it. "I'll let Tuvok walk with me so I can get the updates on the ship."

Chakotay squared his shoulders, and she watched him walk away strong and proud, even with one arm hanging useless at his side and his complexion continuing to wane.

"How were you injured?" Tuvok asked her.

Kathryn stared through the door where Chakotay had exited. "He was hurt saving my life. He caught a wolf by the throat as it was leaping for mine. Its claws caught me as he threw it off."

"Then I owe the commander my gratitude." Tuvok motioned for her to walk ahead of him. "We should get to sickbay so you can be treated, Captain."

**THE NEXT DAY, 1930 HOURS**

The source of the graviton surge that hit _Voyager _was still being investigated, but all systems had been repaired and the Christmas party was going ahead as planned. Tom had been able to restore the holoprogram to its original parameters, but not before Kathryn visited the holodeck in the middle of the night and watched Chakotay's masterful wolf performance once more. She wondered how he had been able to imitate the creatures so well, and that led her to a question she could never ask him: _Could his animal guide be a wolf? _

She thought about it again as she waited for him to escort her to the party. She had taken extra care with her appearance, and was wearing a white, long-sleeve cocktail dress, the wide neckline not revealing but lower cut than anything she usually wore. The fitted sleeves and tailored cut of the dress showed her curves, and her white pumps had the same heel height as her uniform boots. Her auburn hair was loose and flowing just above her shoulders, and she wore more make-up than normal. She adjusted her silver snowflake necklace and took another sip of her wine.

When her door chimed, she went to answer it rather than just calling him in. As the panel slid open, he eyed her up and down and smiled. "You look lovely."

She returned his smile and eyed him as he had her. He was wearing black slacks, a soft blue shirt with a high V-neck, and a black, open jacket. He carried a long gray trench coat over his right arm, the left one still a bit stiff. "Very nice, Chakotay," she said simply. "How is your arm?"

He curled it upward and flexed his fingers. "It's fine. The Doctor assures me the stiffness will be gone in a few days. Your side?"

"It's fine, not even a sting." She picked up a long, red wool coat. "Well, shall we go?"

"Of course, Captain."

She glanced up at him. "Please, just Kathryn tonight."

"In front of the crew?"

She smiled. "I think if they can come up with uses for those beds we found, they can handle hearing my first name."

He laughed. "Yes, Tom was quite adamant that he would keep the ladder hidden until both of us are gone. He was afraid at first we were going to make him do away the program altogether after our experience."

"He put a lot of work and thought into that program. It wasn't his fault the computer lost its mind."

"Is that what happened?" he chuckled as she slipped her arm through his to go to the holodeck.

"It happens to the best of us," she quipped. "_Voyager_ has her bad days, too."

"I wonder how one counsels a ship?"

"I'll leave that in your capable hands. You do so well with wayward mistletoe conspirators."

"By the way, I removed the sprigs twice from my doorway today."

She grinned. "Have you found out who's responsible yet?"

"No, they were just having some fun. I've decided to let this incident slide."

"A boost from the alpha male?" she chided.

He laughed. "Exactly."

He held her coat while she slipped it on outside the holodeck, and then he put his on, struggling somewhat with his still healing left arm and fastening the buttons. She felt a protective surge to do it for him, but pushed away the thought. Accepting help was not a strong suit of either one of them.

They stepped into the holodeck and followed the snowy pathway around to the lodge. The surroundings were once again peaceful and bright, and the only loud noises were those of laughter coming from the crew already at the party. Chakotay and Kathryn stomped the snow from the bottoms of their shoes on the porch steps, and he opened the door for her.

"Captain! Commander! Merry Christmas!" Neelix called from the bar. They waved to him, and Chakotay took Kathryn's coat to hang on the coatrack with his.

Chakotay asked, "Can I get you a drink, Kathryn?"

"White wine would be lovely." He left her to speak with Tom, Harry, and B'Elanna while he went to the bar, taking the opportunity to look over the food. He could identify at least most of the dishes, and everything appeared to be its appropriate color. He thanked Neelix for the wine, promised he and the captain would return for something to eat later, and found Kathryn chatting with Megan Delaney, and Samantha Wildman holding a wide-eyed Naomi.

He gave Kathryn both glasses of wine and held his hands out to Naomi. The little girl smiled shyly at him and was soon firmly ensconced in his arms. "Have you seen the tree yet, Naomi?" he asked her. She nodded her head and looked toward the brightly lit Christmas tree. "Would you like to see it again?"

"Yes please!" she said with a bounce, and he chuckled as he carried her to the corner.

Kathryn glanced over at them and saw them both pointing to the star at the top. She frowned slightly when she watched Chakotay drop his arm back down and shake his hand. Samantha had seen it, too.

"I heard about what happened," she said to Kathryn. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Chakotay's injury was worse, and will take a few days to fully heal."

Megan spoke up. "I heard the commander ripped one of the wolves in half."

Kathryn laughed. "Nothing quite so gruesome, but I'll be sure to tell him his reputation precedes him."

Megan grinned, then excused herself to find her sister. Chakotay returned with Naomi and asked Kathryn, "What are you two laughing at?"

She didn't want to scare Naomi, so she looked at the girl and answered, "I'll tell you later." Samantha took her daughter and went to see Neelix, and Kathryn handed Chakotay back his wine.

She leaned closer to him and spoke softly, "Apparently the rumor going around is that you ripped a wolf in half yesterday."

He leaned back from her with a shocked look. "Kathryn, that's terrible!"

She laughed again. "Isn't it, though? I guess you don't know your own strength."

He chuckled. "Was that before or after my arm was completely useless and I nearly passed out from blood loss?"

She put her lips to his ear, her warm breath sending chills down his neck. "After, of course. You do have your reputation to consider."

He was still grinning when he put his hand on the small of her back and steered her toward the banquet table. Neelix spotted them and said, "Why don't you two go sit down by the fire and I'll bring your plates? I know just what you'll like."

Chakotay and Kathryn eyed each other warily, but they could tell Neelix was proud of his banquet and was looking forward to serving them.

"Thank you, Neelix. I believe we will," Kathryn told him. They made their way to the fireside and found two empty chairs in the corner. Chakotay pulled them close together so he and Kathryn could talk over the noise, and they settled down to watch their crew relaxing and enjoying the rare time of celebration.

"Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves," Chakotay observed.

Kathryn leaned sideways toward him as she watched Harry and Tom in an animated conversation over something. "Yes, they do. They all worked hard yesterday and this morning to complete the repairs. They deserve this party."

He switched his glass to his right hand and absently made a fist a couple of times with his left.

"Chakotay, are you sure you're okay?"

He realized she was watching his hand. "Oh, yes. It just tingles once in a while. The Doctor said that part should be much better by tomorrow. It makes it a little harder to hold onto things, but nothing to worry about."

She laid her hand on his arm. "Thank you again for what you did."

"It was nothing, Kathryn. I wish I had gotten the wolf away from you before you were hurt."

"It just grazed me. I've cut myself worse repairing conduits." His eyes met hers with an intimate look that warmed them both, until Neelix interrupted them, carrying their plates of food.

"Here you are, Captain, Commander. There is plenty more where that came from, so please enjoy."

Chakotay thanked him. "Is there a small table we can bring over here for our glasses?"

"Of course, I'll be right back."

He returned a few seconds later with a low, polished wood table and set it in front of them. "Can I bring you anything else?"

"No, thank you," Kathryn answered. "This looks delicious."

Neelix assured them he would check on them later, and then returned to the bar. Chakotay set his glass on the table, and lifted one ankle onto his other knee so he could hold his plate in his lap. Kathryn glanced at him sitting in the wing backed chair in his black suit, with the firelight behind him and reflecting off his dark hair and eyes.

She thought to herself, _This is how we should be, in a house relaxing together by a fireside with no cares other than whether the wine will run out soon. Instead, we're scraping our way across unknown space still bound by regulations set thousands of light years away. _She brought herself out of her musings and dropped her gaze to her plate before he could see her staring at him. _He really does care about me. I hope he knows that I care for him, too._

Chakotay stole a glance at her while she was looking down at her food. Her white dress showed off a hint of freckles across her chest, her auburn hair shone in the dancing light from the fire, and her toned calves crossed demurely in front of her made his breath catch in his chest.

_Spirits, she's beautiful, _he thought to himself. _I wish I could see her relaxed like this every day, not constantly working so hard and stressed. I could make her happy._ He reached for his wine and took a sip to distract himself from his thoughts. _Someday._

They ate in silence, both of them caught up in their own thoughts of the other. Once, they turned to each other and their eyes met for a moment before they looked away. Their introspection ended when Samantha brought Naomi over to tell them goodnight, and Kathryn and Chakotay both kissed the little girl on the cheek. Other crew members came by to say hello and Merry Christmas, and both members of the command team relaxed again as their focus turned from thoughts of each other to the party.

Tom had begun to alternate soft jazz music with the Christmas carols, and several crew members were dancing in front of the tree. Chakotay set his empty plate on the table beside Kathryn's and took a deep breath. Barely daring to look at her, he asked, "Kathryn, would you like to dance?"

She studied him for a moment, and it seemed to him that her face softened and some sort of decision rested in her gaze. "I would like that."

He wanted to hold her hand while they walked to the floor, but kept his arms at his sides until they reached the dancers and a space was cleared beside the Christmas tree for them. He did take her hand then, and placed the other on her waist. They maintained a respectable distance between them, but a couple of times his fingers caressed the soft material of her dress, and her thumb brushed his neck where her hand rested on his shoulder.

The tiny white lights on the tree reflected from her hair like the twinkle of stars, and when the couple turned on the dance floor, the stars were in her eyes. A voice in the back of his mind told him he shouldn't stare. He didn't listen to it.

She had a faraway look in her eyes, and he gripped her hand tighter. "Where are you, Kathryn?" he asked softly.

Her gaze returned to his. "I was thinking of Christmas at home. Decorating the tree with my mother, shopping with my sister, the three of us sharing a bottle of wine and wrapping gifts on the floor in front of the fire. The house was always full of friends and family for Christmas dinner. Neighbors would drop in all day long just to eat a piece of my mother's pies and drink hot apple cider."

"You miss them. You miss Christmas with them."

"I do, but this year it feels different. I still miss them, but I can feel that family togetherness here, too." Her gaze dropped to his chest, then rose back up to him. "Somehow, home doesn't feel so far away this year."

"We are a family."

His simple words spoke to her of all the crew being one big family, but also of her and Chakotay together. He meant so much more than a friend to her, and perhaps it was time to let him know how she felt about him. But right now, they were surrounded by their crew, and she fought to maintain the professional divide between captain and first officer. When he turned her so that she was facing the tree again and away from everyone, for a brief second she let down her guard and allowed her expression to show her true thoughts.

He saw the change in her, and his heart swelled as his body flushed with love for the amazing woman dancing with her hand in his. She was letting him see that her decision was made, and she had chosen him if he would have her. "Kathryn."

"I have my mother's recipe for hot cider. Maybe you'd like to go back to my quarters and have a glass with me?"

His thumb caressed her side. "I would like that very much." He felt like the electricity between them could power the holodeck, and they both breathed deeply until the song ended. Before the next selection began, they pulled apart and made their way to the coatrack, being sure to compliment Neelix on the refreshments and to say goodnight to everyone.

They walked the trail back to the holodeck entrance and to the turbolift in silence. The short ride from deck 6 to deck 3 seemed to take forever – forever that he wanted to pull her into his arms and feel her body against his. Though he had been to her quarters before, he felt himself growing nervous with anticipation as he entered behind her and listened to the door slide shut.

He tried to unbutton his coat, but his left hand was weak and had grown weaker the more he used it. After the first two buttons, he dropped his left arm to his side and attempted to unhook the rest with one hand.

Her voice was hesitant. "Please, Chakotay. Let me?"

His immediate reaction was to prove he could do it himself, but he realized that pride would only get in his way right now when he was longing for Kathryn to be open to him. He nodded and stood still while she opened the rest of the buttons down the long coat. "Thank you," he sighed, and shrugged the garment off and laid it over a dining chair beside hers.

She ordered two mugs of hot apple cider from the replicator and carried them to the sitting area. Instead of setting his drink in front of the chair he usually occupied, she put it on the low table in front the space beside her on the sofa. He took the hint and sat down with only a few inches between them, turning his body sideways toward her.

He sampled the drink and was pleasantly surprised. "I've had apple cider before and never cared for it. It always seemed to have a sharp tang. This is much smoother. It's very good."

She smiled. "My mother would be pleased you like it. This recipe has been handed down through the generations since my great-great grandmother. Apparently, I come from a long line of excellent cooks. Unfortunately, that particular gene skipped me."

He chuckled. "I suspect Kathryn Janeway always had more important things on her mind than how to make cider. Like quantum mechanics." Her laughter was the finest music in the world to him.

"You're right. I always preferred my father's study to my mother's kitchen. I remember once, she told me that Starfleet officers had to know how to survive on their own, and that included being able to feed themselves. I told her that was what ration bars were for."

"In my colony, children were expected to help with every chore from cooking to home repairs. I remember helping my mother bake bread when I was no older than four or five. It was fun to punch and knead the dough and watch it rise back up again. I also remember my surprise the first time I saw a loaf of bread come from a replicator. That so much work could be avoided with a simple command to a machine was quite a revelation."

"It doesn't taste the same, though, does it?"

"No. No matter how much I've tried to reprogram the recipe in the replicator, it never tastes quite like my mother's bread." He turned his head to stare through the view port, and she watched the pain mix with his smile.

She reached over and put her hand on top of his. "You miss her."

"I do. I miss them all. I want as much as you do to get back to the Alpha Quadrant, back where we belong. But I know that when we do make it, I will still be alone."

She squeezed his hand, and he wrapped his fingers around hers. That note of hesitancy had returned in her voice. "Are you sure about that?"

He turned his head to her again and searched her face, the openness and vulnerability not a look he was used to seeing. Things had moved to shaky ground for the both of them, but she was offering him a chance. "I don't want to be," he answered.

Their gazes locked, and he could no longer resist the urge to pull her into his arms. He slid closer to her and clasped the back of her neck gently before lowering his head to hers. For seconds they breathed together, and then then their lips met. He brought their joined hands up between them to rest against his chest, and her other hand slipped around his shoulder. The kiss deepened as they pulled each other closer, and as one their mouths opened to explore with tongues and soft moans.

She tugged her hand from his and wrapped it around his waist, pulling him with her to lean back against the armrest of the couch. He cradled the back of her head and slid his freed hand to the small of her back, trying to keep his full weight from pressing down on her while enjoying the feel of her soft breasts underneath him.

Kathryn could tell he was trying not to crush her, but she wanted all of him, needed to feel his body solid and strong against hers. She lifted her legs onto the couch, and he shifted backward to hold her to him while he wrapped one leg over hers. He felt himself hardening against her thigh, and debated whether to pull away from her. His dilemma was solved when she pulled him on top of her and slid fully underneath him.

He kissed his way across her cheek to her ear and down her neck, licking and nipping her and listening to her heavy breathing and low moans. Her hands skated down his back and pulled his shirttail up to duck under it to his heated skin. That small touch sent a flash fire through his loins, and he ground his hips against hers.

Chakotay rose up on his right elbow and saw that during their shifting of positions, her dress had stretched lower down her chest. He trailed his fingers over the expanse of creamy skin, and as his hand dipped further he looked at her face to gauge how far she wanted this night to go. Her skin was flushed, her blue eyes piercing, and her lips red and puffy from their kissing. The sexiest woman he had ever seen lay underneath him, and there was no doubt that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

His wandering fingers found the neckline of her dress and hooked it and the top of her bra as he pulled them down. She gasped when the cool air of the room met her bared nipple, and her hand played through his dark hair when he licked the peak. Scooting lower down the couch, he cupped her breast and sucked her pink nipple between his lips, flicking his tongue over it and then biting gently when she pulled his head against her.

She was working his shirttail up his back, and he lifted just far enough to pull his arms one at a time from the sleeves, finally relinquishing the swell of her breast to let her take the shirt off. Delicate fingers slipped over the skin of his chest and arms, and he shivered at her touch.

"Chakotay," she gasped, "take me to bed."

He kissed her again, hard and passionate, thrusting his tongue between her lips to dance with hers. They were both straining for breath, and his weakened arm was beginning to shake where he was holding himself up. He broke the kiss and sat back on his heels between her legs, the sight of her white dress stretched taut across her thighs and hips swelling his shaft even more.

He held his hand out to her and said, "Come, my love."

He pulled her up off the couch and led her to the bedroom where they stood appraising each other. She let her eyes travel over his naked chest and stomach and down to the sizeable bulge in his pants, while he could see her bare breast and the tiny pink marks his tongue and teeth had left around her hardened nipple. Reaching for his belt, she pulled him toward her and unbuckled it, then unfastened his slacks and let them fall to the floor. He stepped out of his black dress shoes and pants, and then moved to her to lift the white dress slowly up her body and over her head. She shook her hair out, and stood before him tousled and gorgeous in white bra and panties.

The flaring passion they had felt on the sofa slowed to reverent exploration as they lay down on the bed and lightly caressed each other. When she unhooked her bra and dropped it to the floor, Chakotay discovered that the underside of her breasts was particularly sensitive when she arched into his touch. As her fingertips trailed over him, she learned that her nails scratching between his pectoral muscles and over the dip of his diaphragm sent chills down his stomach. She licked underneath his collar bone and felt the groan in his chest, and he found the little spot under her ear that made her body curl with a moan.

He brought her tightly into his arms and nuzzled her neck while one hand slipped down to her buttocks. They rocked against each other, and he hissed into her ear when her small hand dropped over his hip and palmed his erection between them. He pulled the back of her panties down and dipped his fingers down her buttocks and between her legs.

Female moisture and scent and soft mewls teased his senses, and he pushed a finger inside her heat. His hard shaft throbbed his desire against her hand, and his heart beat faster against the pillow of her breast. His injured arm was forgotten as his body's hormones went into overdrive in preparation for taking his mate. He removed his hand from her and rolled her onto her back, staring deeply into her passion-glazed eyes before he sat up and slid her panties down her legs and off to the floor. After removing his briefs, he stretched out over her.

His lips descended to hers, and they shared breath and taste as her legs spread around him and her small hand guided his erection to her sex. He entered her slowly, both to savor the sensation and to allow her to stretch around him without pain. When he had reached as far as he could go, he raised his head in a grimace of pleasure, and she rocked her hips against him. There were so many things he wanted to tell her of his love, respect, and devotion to her, but the only word he could form was her name as he began to slide his shaft in and out of her body.

Kathryn's thrusts strengthened, and her hands gripped his shoulders while her legs wrapped over him, attempting to pull him deeper into her core. She was not inexperienced with lovers, but having Chakotay inside of her was the most exquisite feeling she'd ever known. He filled her, completed her, and connected with her soul in a way she didn't know was possible. She could feel her orgasm building, and each shift of his body brought new sensations within her, and each plunge ground his pelvis against her swollen clit until her scalp tingled.

She licked and bit his neck and shoulder, and he growled his pleasure as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He bowed his back to angle against her womb, and she gasped as she teetered on the edge of climax. Twice more, he drove into her and she cried out her release as her arms and legs seized and her orgasm rippled around him. A final thrust into her clenching heat sent him over the edge with her, and he bucked against her with a groan as his seed spilled deep inside her. They clung to one another and swayed together until their trembling eased and their bodies relaxed.

He slid off of her, and she lifted up so he could move his arm, only he didn't. "Uh, Kathryn. I can't move my arm," he panted.

She sat up and looked at him with concern. "You can't move it at all?"

He shook his head, but his right hand clasped her wrist and he smiled. "It's okay. The feeling will come back in a few minutes. Maybe you could lie on the other side, though?"

"No."

"No?"

She smiled that crooked smile that he loved, and her blue eyes twinkled. "I have a better idea." She scooted back to sit against his side and gently pulled his arm into her lap. Starting at his shoulder, she lightly massaged the muscles and worked her way down to his hand before beginning again. After her third pass, she asked, "Any better?"

His eyes were closed, and she wondered if he had fallen asleep, until he mumbled, "It's getting there." A couple of minutes later, he began to flex his fingers, and opened his eyes again. "So, can I expect this wonderful treatment every time we make love?"

"You're not going to love me and leave me?" she asked half in jest, and half in seriousness.

He was completely serious with his response. "Never, Kathryn. I do love you, and I'm here to stay."

"I love you, too, Chakotay. I want you to stay. I'm not making any promises on the massages, though."

He chuckled and pulled her head to his chest, smoothing her hair back from her face. "How about a hot shower, then? I think it will help my arm."

"Come on. I'll even use my captain's override on the water timer just for you." She started the shower, and he stepped under the hot spray and let it run over his arm while she gathered towels and cloths, and replicated a robe for him. When she joined him in the shower, he was raising his left arm above his head and making a fist with his hand.

He moved forward to let her under the spray, and when she leaned her head back to wet her hair, he slid his arms around her and licked the water from her nipple. Her moan had him semi-erect again, and he wanted nothing more than to explore her whole body with his tongue. He started back at that spot under her ear, down her neck and over her collar bone, down her cleavage and over both breasts, then down to her navel. When he dropped to his knees in front of her, her hands clasped his head and he looked up to see her watching him, her eyes darkened, and glistening water streaming over her silky skin.

She backed up until she was leaning against the wall with her legs spread in invitation. He growled and followed her, sliding his hands up her toned calves and thighs until he reached the lips of her sex swollen with her desire and their earlier love making. He delved his fingers into their combined fluids and darted his tongue against her clit, making her shudder and push against the wall. With the second flick of his tongue against her, she moaned and gripped his head harder.

Obviously, she was not a woman who had any reservations about oral sex, and he went at her with abandon, licking, nipping, thrusting inside of her until he had cleaned her, and then sliding back to her pearl. Her sounds grew louder, and her stomach muscles hardened as she neared her climax. He teased her lightly with his tongue, then sucked her clit between his lips and plunged two fingers in her heat, feeling her walls tighten around them. He drove her higher with the tip of his tongue, and watched her face above him as she let go and her orgasm raced through her with a cry that echoed in the shower stall.

He was painfully hard now, and when her spasms slowed, he sat against the wall and pulled her down to straddle his lap. She sank down onto his shaft and locked her hands together behind his neck as she rode him. The warm water falling around them, the slide of her wet heat over him, and the sight of her taking pleasure from him was more than he could stand. He felt his control slipping and grabbed her hips to drive her onto him. He looked down to watch his hardened manhood shining with her oils and water slamming into her, and that was his undoing. When she rose and fell again, he pinned her to him and shouted his release as he came.

She feathered kisses on his forehead, temples, cheeks and lips, and her hands soothed his arms and shoulders as he gasped for breath. Once he had regained control of his body, he raised his lips to hers in a tender, lingering kiss before hugging her.

They got up and finished their shower, then dried off and skipped the robes entirely to fall into bed naked. He pulled the covers up over them and caressed her cheek. "I love you, Kathryn."

"I love you, too, Chakotay." She drifted off to sleep in his arms, and he soon followed.

They would wake three hours later and, energized by their love and happiness, spend the wee hours of the morning cuddled in their robes on her couch, drinking coffee and learning about each other through stories of their childhoods.

Their fourth Christmas lost in the Delta Quadrant was the gift they would remember for the rest of their lives together.


End file.
